“Mom, is there a nurse here today?” my five year old son asks me as he rolls out of bed and fumbles into the kitchen, waiting for some sort of breakfast to be placed in front of him. It is a common question these days, for him to glean what
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This story comes from my midwife, Dawn Henderson. She was present at both of the boy’s birth and years ago, the day before I found out I was pregnant with Florence, I was at a birth with Dawn as the doula. Our second daughter, Audrey, was stillborn in February. Our
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It has been a long time since I’ve let myself be scraped raw and shared some words in this space. It was impossible for me to come back to this place and revisit the grief. I’m moving on, I said, it’s been long enough. I didn’t know that grief and
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When Florence was alive, I dreamt of bringing together mother’s that had experienced unusual motherhood experiences together. I imagined what it would look like to hold the hands of other bereaved mothers. To share the wild and painful and wonderful ways that motherhood has carved into us. To have someone
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I’ve shared about my postpartum journey on the beautiful platform called This is Brave. “Postpartum anxiety. Anxiety in general. All of it. It really sucks. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I lived with anxiety for the last five years—the entirety of my motherhood journey. I had about two
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These blessings are specifically written for mothers and fathers that have lost children, because this is a grief that is specific to me. However, I also wrote them with medical mamas and dads in mind. Grief and pain, however they have found you, are universal. You may want to rework
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These blessings are specifically written for mothers and fathers that have lost children, because this is a grief that is specific to me. However, I also wrote them with medical mamas and dads in mind. Grief and pain, however they have found you, are universal. You may want to rework
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This advent season, I wanted to write, but I didn’t know where to start. The last seven months have been extraordinarily hard, as I’ve waded through grief and trauma. The emotions and fears that simmered under the surface for so long, erupted all over the place. My physical body suffered,
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May 1st 2017. I started the day with good energy and decided to get out of the house with my son. It was another rainy, Vancouver day. I felt a tiny bit apprehensive and felt like maybe staying close to home was a better idea. But I ignored that sensation, feeling
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Mother’s Day to me means deep, agonizing pain. It doesn’t mean flowers and hollandaise brunches. Not yet, anyway. I’m just not sure how Mother’s Day will evolve over the years, because it’s tightly bound to loss. Nearly two years ago, on the day before Mother’s Day, I watched as my three
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Music has carried me through the most intense and agonizing moments of my life. Sometimes all I wanted was silence in the early days of grief, but as time passed, I leaned into the melodies that brought back memories with my daughter, and new sounds that spoke to my tender
