I’m a mother but have no child to care for. After a seemingly ideal first pregnancy, I was rushed into an emergency C-section at 39 weeks where Coen came to us tiny and needing help to breath. Making acquaintance in the NICU, we fell hard for his long dark “hockey”
“Mom, is there a nurse here today?” my five year old son asks me as he rolls out of bed and fumbles into the kitchen, waiting for some sort of breakfast to be placed in front of him. It is a common question these days, for him to glean what
This story comes from my midwife, Dawn Henderson. She was present at both of the boy’s birth and years ago, the day before I found out I was pregnant with Florence, I was at a birth with Dawn as the doula. Our second daughter, Audrey, was stillborn in February. Our
It has been a long time since I’ve let myself be scraped raw and shared some words in this space. It was impossible for me to come back to this place and revisit the grief. I’m moving on, I said, it’s been long enough. I didn’t know that grief and
When Florence was alive, I dreamt of bringing together mother’s that had experienced unusual motherhood experiences together. I imagined what it would look like to hold the hands of other bereaved mothers. To share the wild and painful and wonderful ways that motherhood has carved into us. To have someone
These blessings are specifically written for mothers and fathers that have lost children, because this is a grief that is specific to me. However, I also wrote them with medical mamas and dads in mind. Grief and pain, however they have found you, are universal. You may want to rework
These blessings are specifically written for mothers and fathers that have lost children, because this is a grief that is specific to me. However, I also wrote them with medical mamas and dads in mind. Grief and pain, however they have found you, are universal. You may want to rework
This advent season, I wanted to write, but I didn’t know where to start. The last seven months have been extraordinarily hard, as I’ve waded through grief and trauma. The emotions and fears that simmered under the surface for so long, erupted all over the place. My physical body suffered,
May 1st 2017. I started the day with good energy and decided to get out of the house with my son. It was another rainy, Vancouver day. I felt a tiny bit apprehensive and felt like maybe staying close to home was a better idea. But I ignored that sensation, feeling
Mother’s Day to me means deep, agonizing pain. It doesn’t mean flowers and hollandaise brunches. Not yet, anyway. I’m just not sure how Mother’s Day will evolve over the years, because it’s tightly bound to loss. Nearly two years ago, on the day before Mother’s Day, I watched as my three
Hey! This post has been updated. The Playlist has grown (40+ songs) and changes slightly with time, but many of you have told me you find comfort and release in it. I’m so glad to hear that. Music has carried me through the most intense and agonizing moments of my
Grief comes in many shapes and sizes. One of the questions I
One of the most frequent questions I get asked is: what do
Over the holiday season my heart is more tender and bruised as
The doctor hands you a stack of papers. She’s circled and highlighted the
This post has been inspired by the countless people who brought us
A short while ago, I took my two younger daughters to a
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a heart
I’m a mother but have no child to care for. After a
“Mom, is there a nurse here today?” my five year old son
This story comes from my midwife, Dawn Henderson. She was present at
It has been a long time since I’ve let myself be scraped