My cousin, The Samurai Carpenter, is a talented woodworker and carpenter. We asked him to make an urn for our Florence’s precious ashes. I really wanted marigolds and a butterfly on the urn somehow, but I couldn’t even begin to imagine what the final result would be. He is truly gifted.
This video shows how he made it, piece by piece, and also shows the reveal to us when the project was complete. To say we are blown away by the outpouring of compassion and love is an understatement.
We love that this video helps raise awareness about a disease that is so ruthless. In this day and age, it is crazy that a cure has not been found for a muscle wasting disease that begins in the most precious and helpless…our children.
I’m sharing this because so often childloss comes with a kind of stigma. There are times when I can barely get the words out about our story, and someone says, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you are doing it.”
Suddenly my words come stilted. And sometimes, I even feel a little awkward shame. There needs to be more space for our stories, and yes, our stories include child loss and mother loss and spousal loss and early death and awful diagnoses.
We have to do it. We have to live and continue on. Somedays, I’m not sure how we’ve done it, but we have. We live and laugh and breathe and grieve, all in the same day.
At some point in history, death became a secret, and no one wanted to talk about it anymore. It became sterilized. It happened to other people. Our story is complex and messy and painful, but our daughter has given us wings. We see and will see things others never will. I like the view from up here. I can’t change it, so I’m learning to accept it. I am both rooted and released.
Please consider making a donation to help end SMA.
Every detail was thought through. These photos of the unfilled urn show how delicate and beautiful the piece truly is.