blessing for the broken dreams

December 20, 2017, Michaela Evanow, 0 Comments

These blessings are specifically written for mothers and fathers that have lost children, because this is a grief that is specific to me. However, I also wrote them with medical mamas and dads in mind. Grief and pain, however they have found you, are universal. You may want to rework some of the wording to apply it to your story. But please feel free to print these out and stick them to your bathroom mirror, so you can speak life on those lifeless days. My hope is that you, dear reader, find the strength to dig in to healing, and instead of feeling pierced when holidays or anniversaries arise, may you feel strengthened.

Ah. Yes. The dreams that come when a new life is made known. They burst forth, they are unavoidable, they bloom even in the darkest corners.
And then…the unthinkable happens. It’s not just my dreams. I know so many mamas through the internet that have lost their babies and their children and their grown kids. Dreams…like a favourite Fleetwood Mac song sings:

“…In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost, and what you had, and what you lost…”

And on it goes…

Christmas time brings all of these losses right to the very surface. I cry at least once a day this time of year. It’s hard not to. When wrapping gifts for your surviving children. When hanging ornaments of your growing children, and that one little flower stays the same age, forever.

You just yearn for the lost ones.
This blessing is for you.
I pray you continue to dream, friends.

I am thankful for my Body, my Heart and my Spirit. I accept myself and my story in this moment. I breathe out hopelessness, anxiety, fear of the future and fatigue from the past.

I am proud of my whole self. I am a warrior.

I breathe out the traumatic memories, the pent up pain and the grief. I breathe in peace.

As I heal, I recognize that a part of my heart grieves the loss of my dreams.

From the moment my child became real to me, my dreams of a long life with my beloved began. But when the story changed, I couldn’t let go of the life I had planned.

Hundreds of stories that would never be told. A lifetime of memories that would not be made. Thousands of photos that would not be taken.

It is difficult to let go of these broken dreams.

But I long to dream again.

I long to trust the story of my life, yet again.

May I encourage my heart to dream.

May I make an agreement with hope. Hope for the future. Hope for healing. Hope for new dreams. And may I see them come to pass.

I will experience deep joy again. I will see the beauty of life unfold all around me.

I will see my dreams fulfilled. I will live wholly even as I wait.

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