florence turns two years old.

March 12, 2014, Michaela Evanow, 16 Comments

And then you were two.

I didn’t take it to heart, those statistics, so grim and unreal to my new mother’s eyes. My baby? Less than one year life expectancy? Less than two years? What happens to the fourth and fifth years? What will happen to you?

I felt in control in that moment. I didn’t let the words sink in, didn’t own that stack that described your diagnosis. I threw it in the trash when we got home.

I never fully owned the diagnosis. I couldn’t do it.

Time went by, and you were so healthy and amazing. I nursed you until you were 13 months old. I never took it for granted.

Shortly after your first birthday you fell into respiratory distress. You were intubated and we thought we were going to lose you.

Seven weeks later we finally took you back home, with a feeding tube and non invasive breathing support.

I wasn’t sure I could handle much more. Then, we watched you change more and more, losing strength in your arms, your throat, your neck. Your arms sit beside you now, still as night, but you can move your wrists and fingers, and you do it often. Even while you sleep, you arch your wrists and wave hello with fingers curled inward. Chubby little fists, kisses all over your knuckles.

You are two now. We woke you with songs and you smiled, eyes, cheeks, lips, nose, all smiling, crinkling. The casts on your legs reminded us of your fragility. You didn’t care. Your smiles never cease.

It feels so good to arrive here. Your second birthday. You beat the odds. You beat the statistics. Just the other day, your neurologist expressed how pleased she was with you and our family. I fought back the tears, because it sure hasn’t been easy, and sometimes all I can see are the milestones we’ve missed and the strength you’ve lost…

But, we are celebrating. We are celebrating. Your dad and I find ourselves breathlessly in love with you. You have changed our hearts, once tricked into believing that life would go as planned and we could do it on our own.

You’ve changed our lives, our values, everything. We would choose to bring you into this world, again and again.

For you are valued, you are treasured. You are two.

20140310-082227.jpg

20140310-082242.jpg

16 Comments

  • Reply Courtney @ Blessed by Brenna March 26, 2014 at 3:51 AM

    Beautiful girl – happy birthday Florence! I’m sorry I’m so late with this comment, I’m just catching up on blogs this morning. But I wanted to stop in and say happy birthday to such a sweet miracle!

  • Reply Joy Manoleros March 20, 2014 at 5:51 PM

    So precious! Happy birthday, Florence!! Your birthday is the day before mine, isn’t that fun? 🙂 <3

  • Reply Cindy Brandt March 16, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    Happy Birthday to Florence!

  • Reply Adriel Booker March 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    Happy birthday to the sweetest of toddlers. And happy momiversary to one of the most beautiful of mothers. x

  • Reply Emily March 12, 2014 at 9:56 PM

    Happy Birthday beautiful girl.Sending love to you Florence.

  • Reply mamatocharlotte March 12, 2014 at 7:29 PM

    Happy Birthday Florence!! xoxo

  • Reply stacy March 12, 2014 at 7:23 PM

    Happy Day of your Birth, Florence! And, happy birthing day, Michaela! Happy becoming a papa day, too!!!

  • Reply BethanyOlsen March 12, 2014 at 5:13 PM

    Oh my word. You just made me cry. And happy second birthday Florence, you precious little girly you.

  • Reply child of God March 12, 2014 at 4:32 PM

    Happy 2nd Birthday Florence! Such a beautiful girl you are. 🙂

    Blessings.

  • Reply deedeedoloresDonna Gordon March 12, 2014 at 4:13 PM

    I’m so happy for her second birthday. Expect and pray for a miracle. This is the age of miracles. I’m praying for you and Jesus is the Great Healer. What more could we ask for? Donna Gordon

  • Reply Nanny Lou March 12, 2014 at 1:59 PM

    Florence Marigold – you do not speak with a voice that can be heard and yet your voice is heard with my heart constantly – it speaks of courage, trust, bravery with such love. Your messages are very clear precious girl. Thanks for the joy you bring to me through your smiling eyes. (and mommy and daddy too).

  • Reply Jenise Bolander March 12, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    Love. Love. Love. Thank you.

  • Reply Helen March 12, 2014 at 1:41 PM

    she is so amazing. her courage and happiness are so inspiring. crying and smiling at the same time over here too.

  • Reply Maripat Rawson March 12, 2014 at 1:24 PM

    Happy prayer-filled thoughts for Flo. Blessed Jesus, He does all things well.

  • Reply kristindemery March 12, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    Crying and smiling at the same time. Continued blessings to your family, and especially your sweet Florence. She is a treasure.

  • Reply willowlostSarah Fairbrass March 12, 2014 at 12:20 PM

    Keep maintaining the Faith….she is beautiful and such a life gift to you both

  • Leave a Reply