the brave new year.

January 3, 2014, Michaela Evanow, 9 Comments

It’s definitely past the proper time to post about the new year, but I have a word for this new year, one word. You may have noticed this going around the Internet. It’s not about setting resolutions, it’s about that one word for the year ahead.

For me this year, the word is brave.

brave

I want to see things and hear things and say things with bravery at my side. I want to know that I know that I know that the days and months and years ahead have purpose, and will be filled with beauty, and good things.
2013 went by in a blur. We had some major downs and few ups. Florence was hospitalized twice, and the first time we nearly lost her. It has been a wild and crazy ride and frankly, my body and spirit nearly gave up.

Friends had miscarriages, others gave birth to babies. Some friends got married, others received terrible diagnoses. I met more SMA type 1 mothers and their babies through my blog and Facebook. I received hope and lost it too.

Some days, I was happiest on the couch, not moving.

But as the month of December came to an end there was a rush of exciting gifts, like they were stockpiled for the end of the year. On Christmas Eve, I found myself weeping with thanks, and my lips began to say: this will be a year of good things, good things are coming.

You see, people often feel bad for us and are heartbroken and don’t know how to navigate around us sometimes. But those that know us in the flesh, know we live life like we know how. We laugh and smile and toast to the new year. We go for dates and try our hardest to take care of ourselves.

We still have to live life. I can’t put it on pause. We are happy people, truly fed by the never ending stream of joy that comes from God alone.
Yes, it’s been hard and things have gotten more complicated over time. I miss the freedom and ease of putting my baby in the car and going for a walk, picking up groceries.
But, I still have Hope.
For this year, for life.
Hope has handed me a word and said, this year be brave. Not because bad things are going to happen, but because it’s brave to have hope.

The song on my lips this year is called Joy is in our Hearts. I love Sara Groves.

We were pressed on every side
full of fear and troubled thoughts
for good reason we carried heavy hearts

it is good to come together
in our friendship to remember
all the reasons hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength
hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

now with patience in our suffering
perseverance in our prayers
with good reason this hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength
hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

oh we saw the face of Angels
many good things well secured
for good reason this joy is in our hearts

hallelujah, hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength.

9 Comments

  • Reply michelle January 4, 2014 at 9:40 PM

    “it’s brave to have hope” — Marvellous, beautiful words!

  • Reply Amy Hunt January 4, 2014 at 1:35 AM

    It takes a bit for us to be okay with the uncertainty of a new year after we’ve accepted all the surprises that came with the last one. It’s risky.

    It’s brave to step into this one as we are: nervous and maybe even a bit angry.

    God’s been giving me peace that it’s okay to be as I am right now. To loose my expectations of how I should feel and when I should be ready to just be. Might He give you peace to be brave in ways that, though they might look different than you think they should, would show you continually that you are enough — as you are.

    • Reply Michaela. January 4, 2014 at 9:28 AM

      Thanks for your encouragement Amy.

  • Reply jack nash January 3, 2014 at 11:38 PM

    My goodness Michaela… you undo me. I like your style girl, love your dear ol’dad.

  • Reply willowlost January 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM

    One word for your blog today..Beautiful

  • Reply Joanne Dunlop January 3, 2014 at 1:22 PM

    Happy New Year, Michaela. I have been reading your blog, and I must tell you, many times I have laughed and cried with you. You have inspired me as I read about your love for Florence and your husband, and your struggles to stay positive through your fear and sadness. I have been inspired by your strength and yes, your bravery. So, at the beginning of this new year, please know that there are many out there sending prayers and good wishes to you and your family.

    And by the way, you are an excellent writer…

    • Reply Michaela. January 4, 2014 at 9:29 AM

      Joanne, thank you very much. It’s so precious hearing your words!

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