5 minute Friday: on ordinary.
It’s anything but, this life we are living right now, that I’m living. Ordinary. I crave it—I crave the ordinary things mamas do with their toddlers, the screaming and crushed Cheerios, the red cheeks at the park, the scraped knees and cuddles.
Oh how I want her to cuddle me. Arms and legs taught with loving tension. Coming to mama, coming to me to cuddle.
It’s not ordinary for a little one to be unable to move.
So I look for it. All the time, I relish those ordinary moments. When I’m picking up groceries, and I’m browsing the aisles, just another woman adding food to her clanging cart. When I’m feeling joy in the simple things, like the laughter between husband and wife, and the crack of dawn moment when I hear the nurse leave (which is not ordinary), hear the babbles of my sleepy little lamb. The love of a mother for her child.
It’s anything but ordinary.
I lean into these precious moments during the day, when I really see, past the layers of heaviness or comparison or boredom. When I see the sun shining, blazing really, into this little kitchen. Dishes still pile up, diapers need to be changed, laundry still needs to be done, nap times come and go, coffee needs to be poured. These motherhood moments, I cherish them so. This motherhood journey, it is far from normal. But I am still here, and she is a life, and this is life. Understanding that our every day, our ordinary, it actually all amounts to something—well it’s changed everything for me. I see things differently now. I’m living like I’m running a race, gulping it all in, wrapping these moments tight around me, knowing that nothing is insignificant.
Not one thing.