5 minute Friday: on ordinary.

October 11, 2013, Michaela Evanow, 7 Comments

It’s anything but, this life we are living right now, that I’m living. Ordinary. I crave it—I crave the ordinary things mamas do with their toddlers, the screaming and crushed Cheerios, the red cheeks at the park, the scraped knees and cuddles.

Oh how I want her to cuddle me. Arms and legs taught with loving tension. Coming to mama, coming to me to cuddle.

It’s not ordinary for a little one to be unable to move.

So I look for it. All the time, I relish those ordinary moments. When I’m picking up groceries, and I’m browsing the aisles, just another woman adding food to her clanging cart. When I’m feeling joy in the simple things, like the laughter between husband and wife, and the crack of dawn moment when I hear the nurse leave (which is not ordinary), hear the babbles of my sleepy little lamb. The love of a mother for her child.

It’s anything but ordinary.

I lean into these precious moments during the day, when I really see, past the layers of heaviness or comparison or boredom. When I see the sun shining, blazing really, into this little kitchen. Dishes still pile up, diapers need to be changed, laundry still needs to be done, nap times come and go, coffee needs to be poured. These motherhood moments, I cherish them so. This motherhood journey, it is far from normal. But I am still here, and she is a life, and this is life. Understanding that our every day, our ordinary, it actually all amounts to something—well it’s changed everything for me. I see things differently now. I’m living like I’m running a race, gulping it all in, wrapping these moments tight around me, knowing that nothing is insignificant.

Not one thing.

coffee

7 Comments

  • Reply beckydaye October 11, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    My heart is overwhelmed by your post. Breaking for you, but trusting our great God to meet you in your hurts and to fill you with Himself. Motherhood is certainly not ordinary. Thank you for sharing your heart!

    • Reply Michaela. October 11, 2013 at 3:34 PM

      Thanks for visiting Becky and for your kind words.

  • Reply crochetingbeautiful October 11, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    and the blessing is that you will never take one single moment for granted, because that little girls life that you cherish to your core, has changed the core of who you are, and that makes you infinitely better.

  • Reply Darlene October 11, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    Michaela 🙂 I would like to share this with you, it is written by Erma Bombeck. Perhaps you have read it before but It is always good to reread things when you are at a different place in your journey. I found this passage to be really helpful when the words “and this too shall pass.” seemed impossible to believe. From my lips to God’s ears…….”may the peace that passes all understanding belong to Michaela”.

    ……..the angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”
    “Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a child with special needs to a mother who knows no laughter?
    That would be cruel.”
    “But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.
    “I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
    Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it.”
    “I watched her today.
    She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
    You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of it’s own.
    She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”
    “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”
    God smiles. “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”
    The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
    God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
    Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
    She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied.
    She will never take for granted a spoken word.
    She will never consider a step ordinary.
    When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
    I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–ignorance, cruelty,
    prejudice–and allow her to rise above them.
    She will never be alone.

    • Reply Michaela. October 11, 2013 at 3:33 PM

      Thanks Darlene, that’s a really interesting take on it 🙂

  • Reply Katie Foster October 11, 2013 at 9:59 AM

    Unbelievable courage and faith. A beautiful story that brings tears to my eyes…often!

    • Reply Michaela. October 11, 2013 at 3:32 PM

      Thanks Katie, so very lovely to hear.

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