7 months and chunk on those cheeks.

October 10, 2012, Michaela Evanow, 11 Comments

She is 7 months and 3 days old today. I am 27 years old today. I was born 27 years ago, and she was born 7 months ago, and it feels like I’ve only just begin living in the last 7 months: the hardest, most gut wrenching pain I’ve ever had to go through, and the most beautiful, extraordinary, life giving, warmth in my breath moments of exhilaration. The joy she brings to my heart is endless. She is a gift and makes my cup overflow.

Her chin and cheeks hang over straps and bibs. Her eyes squish with love when she sees me.

I am so thankful for her. It’s clique, but she’s the greatest birthday gift.

The other day the sight of her grasping a toy and bringing it to her mouth stabbed my heart so deeply. I am thankful she can grasp toys. And though somedays my heart burns for her, and I want her to play and roll and crawl, I know that she is happy where she is. So I am too. I still desire more for her and am continuing to fan that flame of faith and believing for miracles and visualizing life for her. Just last night I spent some time visualizing (I know, sounds weird) her crawling and clapping her hands and bouncing around on my lap. It was a visual delight. At first it felt so surreal and scary even. I couldn’t see her face on her bobbing body, but then I did, and her whole body transformed and I thought, “Aha, that is Florence too! She’s just not there yet.” It’s similar to those days spent in single hood when a girl visualizes what her future husband might look like or becoming a bride, and imagines what all those feelings must be like. I like to do that for Florence too. I choose to live in joy, and believe that is has already been done by my Saviour, Jesus. Otherwise I will have to scramble to get back the months or years that the locust ate.

She is gentle and peaceful, it oozes from her, but I sense a strength within her. She teaches me everyday about waiting on the Lord and happiness and patience. How is it that a child can teach me so much? It’s simple. Jesus came as a child.

In other news:

I’m reading: Back to an old favourite, Come Away My Beloved by Francis J Roberts. This is a very rich and lyrical devotional that gets me every time. I highly recommend it.

I’m making: Lots and lots of placenta capsules and not a lot of food. It’s been a busy week, and I feel up to my eyeballs in cloth diapers, long sleeved onesies, dishes, grocery shopping and errand running. I’m considering reverting back to exclusively breastfeeding Florence, or offering less solids during the day. She doesn’t seem too excited by them, if offered three times a day, so I think I’ll slow it down. It’s these little things that fog my brain up during the day, and cause me to put the cheese in the cupboard overnight, throw my keys in the garbage instead of the paper in my other hand, and drive around the block trying to remember where I’m supposed to be going (ie, which errand was I running?!) Bedtime comes like roaring thunder at 9:30 and yet there’s so much to do…

I’m listening to: All Sons & Daughters, especially this one:

 

11 Comments

  • Reply Melissa Naiad October 21, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    Happy birthday Michaela!

    And if it makes you feel better: Fae still nurses more than she eats. She only began eating 3 times a day just a few months ago, and she just turned 14 months.

    Flo is beautiful, and looking at your photos of her I can feel the warmth and strength that you write about. My heart is with you, from mummy to mummy. It’s the most powerful feeling in the world to be completely wrapped up in your baby. You mentioned in an earlier post about wanting people to wake up, I feel that way often too.

    • Reply Michaela. November 5, 2012 at 4:54 PM

      I love your comments Melissa! 🙂

  • Reply becca: exile fertility October 11, 2012 at 2:48 AM

    happy birthday michaela … what did we do for your birthday in cairo?? was that when we went to the cafe and ordered food that they didn’t have so they went to another restaurant and brought it back for us? also jubilee is 9 months and still barely eating solid food, especially right now she has a cough and it makes her gag so i haven’t even been offering it at all this week. i like the mantra ‘food before one is just for fun’ … the chunk on Flo’s cheeks makes it pretty clear she isn’t wasting away. 😉

    • Reply Michaela. October 11, 2012 at 8:21 AM

      Yes we went out to that cafe and ordered from the fake menu 😉
      I have heard from a lot of mamas about introducing solids and then stopping.
      I feel like it might be the norm. 🙂

  • Reply Miriam Miller October 10, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Happy Birthday! Love those chub chub cheeks 🙂 Btw, I remember the food intro thing with Isabella being similar… I wanted to start her on solids cuz I thought it would be a fun exploration and another activity (and at the time I was hoping she would sleep longer), but it tooks months to really get it going. I breastfed exclusively more times than giving her food to start.

    • Reply Michaela. October 11, 2012 at 8:22 AM

      Longer sleep is not part of the package for us it seems!

  • Reply Maripat October 10, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    Flo looks like her mama who looks like a perfect cross between her grandpa and gramma who look just like … wait for it, ‘God.’
    Neat pictures of a neat little girl. Smooches Flo …

  • Reply Andrea Lubberts October 10, 2012 at 12:48 PM

    Your baby girl is gorgeous! Love those kissable cheeks:)

  • Reply jasonevanow October 10, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    Happy Birthday my beautiful bride, you are an inspiration to our family and I am so deeply thankful to be on this journey with a woman like you. You bring such strength and hope when I want to give in to fear – you point me towards the Lord. I truly am celebrating your birthday in my heart every second of everyday.

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