waiting for my child to come: 40 weeks pregnant.
I don’t know if there’s such thing as the D-day slump, but I’m sure in one.
I’m not sure how one is supposed to feel on the baby’s due date. Perhaps if I wasn’t such a grumpy pants, I would be feeling excited and looking forward to the next few days or weeks with anticipation. But I’m not.
I can’t believe how much anticipation I had at a mere 6 weeks. It’s such an exciting, precious time, being pregnant, especially in the early stages before any symptoms kick it. The day after this photo was taken I started my nasty bout with uncontrollable nausea and vomiting that lasted well into the second trimester. But at this moment, you couldn’t have burst my bubble if you tried. I was shaking with emotion and so full of joy.
Now, I’m tired, groggy, fed up, on an emotional roller coaster. However, I recognize that at 6 weeks pregnant, I could not comprehend what it would be like to grow a baby. I couldn’t imagine getting a belly, feeling a baby kick inside me. It just felt surreal. And so, as I now wait for the arrival of baby, I feel that same disbelief. She’s going to come out? I’m going to give birth one day soon? This is it? Perhaps if you know me, you can tell by the photo below how ready I am.
“This…is not fun anymore.”
Yesterday I had my membranes swept, which was a jolly good time. Not nearly as painful as the external cephalic version, so I put up with it for a good 7 minutes. Baby’s head is nice and low, and some dilation has occurred (2cm). I’m really glad I got on it at 37 weeks and started going through my checklist for cervical ripening.
There have been some other preliminary signs of labor but no progressing contractions, so really, nothing is happening in my mind. Hence the grumpiness.
I’ve pulled out my birthing necklace, made at my Blessingway. It’s a collection of beads brought by friends and family to the Blessingway. I’ll be wearing it during labor, but I’m also wearing it today in faith! I feel like I’m breaking the rules, but it’s encouraging to know that the anticipation for baby girl’s arrival isn’t just filling my home. I have loved the support and kind words received from friends. It keeps me going!
Besides stringing beads, I’ve also had the time (imagine that) to string together some dried oranges and fresh bay leaves from our garden. It’s a simple, fragrant ‘Welcome’ garland for baby girl. I’ve hung it it our kitchen, and every time the sun glows through the orange slices, or I catch the scent of bay leaves, I feel a little better.
I wish I’d left all the errand running until the last minute, because I am more than ready for her to come. Everything is in it’s place. My time is spent sleeping, thinking about going for a walk, maybe going for a walk, going for a walk and then sleeping, drinking tea, peeing, peeing, reading and watching the clock. Another day is almost done, another minute closer to holding her sweet, soft self in my arms.
She came! Read her birth story.