You are here. Growing in my uterus. We found out you were 6 weeks old last week, with our dear friends, Dave and Kate. It was like a funny game, where I took a pregnancy test, half expecting nothing, but also pretty curious as to why I was so late…Call me naive, but being pregnant for the first time is hard to wrap your mind around.
And of course, the big YES appeared rather quickly on the screen, and I think I even swore a little. I just didn’t think it would actually happen. When you see those words or those lines and plus signs appear, I think you feel like you have super powers. I realized my body does indeed have the ability to create another human being, by the grace of God.
You are a little bigger than a blueberry, and this week your beautiful hands and feet and starting to turn from paddles to fingers and toes!
I am feeling like the world is ending some mornings and evenings. I feel really, really sick, my baby. I know it’s not you. I just hope you’re okay with all that retching. I think about you all the time. Even when I’m starving with no appetite, and even when I’m feeling the rolling thunder of morning sickness. And even when I rest my elbows on the toilet bowl and stare into the watery hole, involuntary tears streaming down my face…I think of you, and hope you’re okay.
I’m a mama now, whether I hold you in my arms, or the heavens take you. I’m a mama.